


Evol Noitop

by museofspeed



Category: DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: M/M, love potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 14:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museofspeed/pseuds/museofspeed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently keeping a love potion in Tim's private water bottle was not the wisest of ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evol Noitop

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 's [Valentine Day Challenge!](http://community.livejournal.com/tim_bernard/7187.html) AND THANKS !

And to think, Tim had thought he was being smart when he'd put the love potion he'd confiscated from the black markets magic dealer in an unmarked, ordinary-looking water bottle until he had time to bring it to Zatanna. Stupid, stupid Tim.

Most people would have been smart enough to not just take a drink without asking. However, Bernard was not most people.

He'd come up to Tim, all extravagant gestures and invasion of personal space. He'd managed to snag Tim's water bottle and take a gulp while Tim was mid-eye roll.

And now Tim had a lovesick Bernard following him around like a puppy and loudly declaring his devotions to Tim.

"Um," Darla said as Tim steered Bernard out of the school.

"He ate some bad chocolates!" Tim explained.

He had to get to Zatanna right away.

Once away from the school, he turned to Bernard. "Gee," he said. "I would really _love_ it if someone were to run across the street and get me a cup of coffee."

Bernard gave him an adoring look. "I will do it, my sweet," he said. He gave Tim yet another lingering look and headed across the street.

Tim called Zatanna.

"Olleh?" she said. "I mean, hello! Sorry, caught me in the middle of a spell."

"It's me, Zee," Tim said. "You know that magic potion I told you about? Things just got more complicated."

"Someone drank it?" Zatanna asked.

"Yep," Tim said. "And now he's madly in love with me."

"Huh." Zatanna said. "He with you?"

Tim watched Bernard come back across the street.

"Yes," he said.

"Bring him somewhere out of sight and I'll bring you guys to me."

"Thanks, Zee," Tim said. "I really appreciate it."

He took the coffee from Bernard with a smile. "Come with me," he mouthed. Bernard nodded eagerly.

He led the two of them to an alley.

"Okay, we're ready," he said into the phone.

"Mit Ekard dna dneirf ot em!" Zatanna said. The two of them vanished and landed in front of Zatanna.

Now Tim had no doubt that Bernard was sorely affected. He didn't even glance at Zatanna's fishnets.

"Tim," Zatanna said warmly. "Good to see you."

"Tim," Bernard said. "How do you know _her?_ Should I be jealous?"

Tim rolled his eyes and picked up the water bottle. "Bernard, this is Zatanna. She's a magician. Zatanna, it's nice to see you too."

"You have the potion?" Zee asked. Tim handed it to her.

"What potion?" Bernard asked.

"You drank a love potion," Tim said.

"Are you suggesting my love for you is anything less than true?" Bernard asked indignantly.

"I'm sure it's very true," Zatanna said. "If I give you some paper, you can write some love poems while we work!"

"I don't want to be away from you, my darling Drake!" Bernard said.

"I'll be right here," Tim said.

Bernard took the paper and started working. "Drake, rake, make, take, steak…" he muttered.

Zatanna poured the potion into a glass vial. "Hmm," she said. "This looks like an embellishment potion."

"What's that?" Tim asked.

"Not actually a love potion. It only enhances existing feelings. If Bernard has an ounce of a crush towards you, it'll turn into, well, you've seen it."

"Bernard doesn't have a crush on me," Tim said flatly.

"My darling Drake, what will it take?" Bernard said. "No… that doesn't sound quite right. Tim, my love, like fire from above… that makes him sound evil."

Zatanna raised an eyebrow.

Tim rolled his eyes. "He's drugged, remember?"

"Mmm." Zatanna grabbed a handful of some sort of herb from a jar. "Luckily, it's fairly easy to deactivate." She crushed the herbs into the beaker, and the liquid turned a cheerful purple shade. "Have him drink this. It'll wipe the drug from his system, and as a bonus make his breath smell great."

Tim nodded and took the beaker. "Can't thank you enough, Zatanna," he said.

"Hey, it's not a problem," she told him. "I'm happy to help."

Tim smiled and took the beaker to Bernard. "Drink this?" he said.

Bernard gave him a loving smile. "Anything for you, my sweet. Do mysterious and serious rhyme, would you say?"

"I think so," Tim said. "Please drink that?"

Bernard obediently tipped the beaker back and swallowed it down.

He burped. And blinked. "What the hell? This is the worst poetry I've ever seen!"

"Are you madly in love with me?" Tim asked.

Bernard gave him a withering look. "Why would I be madly in love with you? No offense, but you are rather short."

"Love potion," Zatanna said. Bernard's eyes snapped to her legs. Oh, good. He was back to normal. "Tim brought you to me to get you cured."

"Oh dear god," Bernard said. "This will do horrible things to my reputation."

"Good to know you're focusing on the important things," Tim said. "Thank you so much, Zatanna."

"Yeah, thanks," Bernard said.

"You're welcome," Zatanna said. "Ready?"

Tim nodded. Bernard gave her a puzzled look. "Ready for what?"

"Syob kcab emoh!" Zatanna said. Bernard and Tim vanished and reappeared where they had been originally.

"That was weird," Bernard said. He gave Tim an appraising look. "How do you know Zatanna?"

"She was my neighbor's friend growing up. I wouldn't exactly say I know her, but I do have her number."

"Which you will now be giving to me, of course, right?" Bernard asked. "I mean, those _legs!_ Damn."

"Keep dreaming, Bernard," Tim said mildly. "Come on. Let's go back to school. Don't you want to wax poetically about Darla? She seemed a little jealous of the two of us."

Bernard brightened considerably, and he started trying to think of rhymes for "Aquista." Tim, for his part, smiled and let him ramble and thought quietly about Zatanna's words.

Bernard? A crush on him?

This held interesting possibilities.

Tim would have to consider this more carefully.

Right after he stopped Bernard from rhyming "Aquista" and "Least-a." Because really, that was just bad.


End file.
